Being a momma for about 4 1/2 months now, I realized that certain things aren’t what I thought they would be like, before becoming a mom. A lot of things turned out to be way the opposite of what I expected and I have changed A LOT. Or I should say… my feelings and priorities have changed a lot. There are some findings that I made…
1. Huge unconditional love … I know what love means, I know what love feels like. My family, my husband and my pets… I love them unconditionally and would do everything for them. I would even save their lives, even if this would mean to end mine. BUT …boy… the strong love I feel for my daughter… I can’t even put in words. I wouldn’t know where to start and I don’t know how to end describing. Just wow. I bet all you mommas out there know exactly what I’m trying to express here. *sigh*
2. Becoming a baby aweing gal … this is something that I would have NEVER EVER expected of myself. First of all… there was a time when I thought we never would want kids. I never ever in my life before becoming a mom had to deal with babies/kids, except when we were visiting family members that had kids. I tried to stay away from babies and older kids as much as possible. I didn’t think they were cute, I didn’t think they were funny… I just didn’t want their attention at all. Kids always loved me… for whatever reason… I really don’t know because I really didn’t make any move to make them like me, but I didn’t have any interest or what so ever for babies or toddler at all. Now… seeing babies makes me awe. Some of them I think they are cute, I feel like I want to hold them, play with them, talk to them, make them smile. I want them to like me! This is the very opposite of how I felt before and this surprises me the most next to the next point.
3. Wanting more than one Child … WHAT? Did I just say that? Who the f. am I? I feel like I completely changed identity. I always have said that “If I’ll ever make babies… ONE is definitely enough” Now that I’m having the one, I feel like I could handle one or two or three more. I’m loving babies now, I feel comfortable in taking on the challenge. I think I managed pretty well so far with my girl and I think it would benefit her. We are the only ones here. She’s got now cousins here and no uncles, no aunts, no grandma and no grandpa … nobody … I feel that for her life later, It’d be great to have one or more siblings around and them making family too. Building our own family tree here in Canada. I even feel that one sibling wouldn’t be enough to make up for all those missing cousins and other family members. Anyways… I want more, but I gotta be honest. I’m afraid of the birth of every one of them, since my first experience was horrifying.
4. I still don’t feel like a mom … I thought I would feel different when having a baby. I thought I would totally feel like a mom. I feel same as when I got married. No change at all. I didn’t feel like a married woman. Not different at all. Now I feel like the same me. As if I just have gotten a new pet. It sounds bad, but that’s just what it feels like.
5. Diapering Expert … I can change a diaper with my eyes closed. Before having a baby, I thought that I would be challenged changing a diaper, not only did I think I would vomit every time I would have to change a poopy diaper, but I also thought that I would never get that thing on with baby wiggling around. Turns out… It’s not that hard and it is not that bad. Yes poopy diapers stink, but you just hold your breath for a minute until you wrapped it up and that’s it.
6. I’m surprisingly calm … My husband said it quite a few times. Many times when my baby was crying for seemingly no reason and it was like there is no way to calm that baby any how… I kept surprisingly calm. Others would freak, lose their mind or just cry with the baby… I just kept calm and tried one thing after the other until something helped. I personally would have not thought that for myself. I always have been annoyed of babies screaming and crying and I always imagined myself losing my mind over it and throwing the towel. Turns out that I’m pretty cool that way. Although I have to admit.. it breaks my heart seeing my little love cry and not knowing why.
7. I open my mouth when I feed my baby … I’m sure other moms or dads do that too, but every time I’m feeding her, I catch myself opening my own mouth wide when I put the spoon in my girls mouth and closing it tight when I’m about to pull out the spoon again. It is hilarious. Why am I doing this? Is it because I want her to do it right? I hope I will never do that in public.
8. I will make a fool out of myself … just for that baby smile! The gal that never craved the attention and love of a child, now is making a fool out of herself, just to make that cute little chubby baby smile and giggle.
9. My days go by faster … being at home every day I imagined as booooooooooooooooooooooooooring. While it truly is boring some times, I feel like the day goes by so fast if you are living by a strict routine. The baby gets up in the morning, she’ll have something to eat, some play time and then is off for a nap. The baby will wake from her nap, we’ll have some cuddle and play time, she’ll then get a bottle and will then get back to bed for another nap. Then the same as before, and then after her last nap she’ll have some play time, then dinner, then some more play time, then a bath, then a bottle and then she’s down for the night and that was it for my day as well. I’ll have some dinner myself and some tv watching time and then I’m off to bed myself. It felt like just 4 hours or so… maybe it is because we both sleep till at least 8 am or often it’ll be 9 am … maybe it would be different if we would get up at six or seven?!
10. Priorities change … While I still dye my hair and workout to get my body back in shape… I used to have pretty gel nails and paint my toe nails and buy pretty shoes, purses and jewelry … I now don’t really care much anymore if I have gel nails or if my toenails are painted. I don’t buy jewelry anymore and I drastically reduced the amount of shoes that I bought and have actually no interest in pretty purses anymore. I still take care of how I look… I won’t go grocery shopping in sweatpants or pajama pants… I never did and I never would! But who cares about purses… the only “purse” I’m carrying around now is my diaper bag anyways.
I’m curious about more conclusions I will be making … changes I will discover … I have already surprised myself and I’m sure there is more ahead of time.
What changes have you discovered after having kids?