It’s been a little bit over 3 weeks ago that I gave birth to my beautiful daughter and just like my last blog post title “Perfect Pregnancy, Not So Perfect Labor And Delivery”, I can say the same here. Not so perfect postpartum it is…
Like you all know (if you read all posts of mine), I had an episiotomy (cut from vagina to anus) and my doctor couldn’t even tell me what degree tear it was… all I’ve been told is that it is one of the worst they’ve had. so it must be really bad.
Only a week after they had sutured my episiotomy, it became very infected and all the stitches have become undone. everything just opened right up. So I have gotten antibiotics through the IV (Intra Venous) for a few days, then the doctor sutured it again, some more antibiotics in pill form and hope for the best. the day of being stitched was horror. it hurt SO bad… I thought I want to die. I don’t know how I got through this, but I did.
A week after that… checking my episiotomy in the mirror showed me that two of the stitches had opened up again. Also, the antibiotics gave me bad watery diarrhea for 12 days. It was so bad, that I wore old peoples diapers on a 2 hour car ride, because I was afraid I’m gonna literally shit my pants.
So back to the doctor I went, more antibiotics, different kind and a new appointment to get sutured AGAIN. Which was yesterday. AGAIN, it hurt SO bad afterwards… I was crying. No pain killer helped, no ice pack, no tucks pads, no sitzbath… nothing helped.
This time he used thread that doesn’t dissolve on it’s own. So in 10 days, I’m going back to get the stitches removed.
Honestly… I feel sorry for myself, what I have to go through. It’s draining my body and soul… I can’t enjoy life and especially I can’t enjoy my baby, because I’m in pain all the time.
Adding to all of this, I had huge problems with breastfeeding since the beginning, which I will write a separate blog post about. I had to pump my milk and that lead me into depression… it made me cry a lot, every time the topic came up.
The whole postpartum time so far has just been a disaster for me.
On a positive note though… because of all this… I’ve lost 30lbs (including the weight of the baby and waters etc).
I so wanted a second child, but all this just had me in fear of all this happening again. I just couldn’t handle all this another time again.